Leadership is intentional influence. It isn’t the vacuous or mystical thing that so many writers claim. It is a systematic process of influencing human beings to achieve important results. It’s about mobilizing behavior in the service of valued goals. At the end of the day, if behavior isn’t changing, you aren’t leading.
I have a stubborn stepson who refuses to speak with his father. He thinks his father doesn’t love him, which is not so. What can I say to him so he’ll open up?
My mom continuously interrupts me when I’m speaking to her. She’ll sometimes finish my sentences, as if she knows what I’m thinking. Or she’ll start in with something that occurred to her based on something I’ve said. I’ve asked her to please allow me to finish and explained that when she interrupts, I feel disrespected. She didn’t take it well. Since then, I’ve sometimes gently reminded her, “Please, let me finish” and sometimes not so gently said, “How do you know what happened next?” Sometimes I just give up and let her do all the talking. She doesn’t seem to notice that our relationship is becoming, well, not much of a relationship. Any suggestions?
I’m a new member on a team. I find that when I wish my teammates good morning, they do not respond. Since I’m new and trying to learn, I occasionally ask questions of one of my teammates. When I do, she typically responds, “Go ask so-and-so,” rather than helping me. Another teammate cuts me off when I ask questions. I am unable to finish my question or ask clarifying questions. I need help communicating with this team. Any suggestions?
How do you start over with a colleague who does not like you, does not want to talk with you or work with you, and has gone out of their way to try to make you look bad on several occasions? I stopped speaking to this person six months ago, but I’d like to try to rebuild trust with this person. How do I even begin?
I’m trying to establish a strictly professional working relationship with my supervisor. I like to have boundaries to limit my personal involvement, but my supervisor wants to have conversations about weekend plans, vacation updates, and so on. They also continually talk with me and my coworkers about their health challenges and medical details. This makes me uncomfortable. I’ve shared my feelings about their behavior, but things have not changed. How do I respectfully share my communication preferences?
How do you deal with someone that you KNOW is lying to you? I have numerous examples and clear evidence of the lies, and I have confronted each lie, but they continue to do it. I don’t have the option of walking away. What next?
Dear Trainer Talk, I have used and taught the Crucial Conversations skills for years but have recently wondered whether the skills are more reflective of how white professionals feel comfortable (or safe) addressing disagreement. A few learners have expressed this concern. Could it be that the skills taught in Crucial Conversations do not work for …
Recently I was teaching Crucial Conversations to a group and we were practicing how to establish psychological safety when one of the learners asked, “What should you do if you don’t feel safe during a conversation?” I muddled through a response but I’m not sure I really answered the question. The course teaches us how to help others feel psychologically safe during a Crucial Conversation, but what should you do if you feel psychologically unsafe?
I have a domineering boss who micromanages everything I do. He has no filter when speaking to me and often is just outright rude. Whenever I send out a piece of work, he finds fault with it and tries to undermine my confidence. Having read online about his characteristics, I truly believe he suffers from narcissism. The sad fact is that he gets results and senior management love him, so he is untouchable. How can I deal with this aside from leaving the company?
