I have a son who is a terrible listener. He monopolizes the conversation. If I question a statement he has made, he becomes quite defensive and sometimes angry. He is very rigid in his thinking and beliefs. How would you suggest I handle this situation?

Dear Crucial Skills, What advice can you give to a group after someone popular has been let go and there is dissent and frustration? I am not permitted to share the reasons for the decision to let this employee go, and it wasn’t my decision to make, but how do I help my team deal …

When an employee has a lot going on personally, it often shows up at work. These past few years have been tough on everyone, and I feel both empathy and a determination to hold clear boundaries. I want to extend grace to my employees, and I want them to meet their job duties and performance measures. How can I extend my sympathies and maintain clear professional boundaries? When I’ve asked before, people often cross professional boundaries and overshare inappropriate or personal information. Please help.

We’ve been learning Crucial Conversations skills at work. Things have been going well and we’ve had some great, open, and honest discussions about the skills and principles. However, several people have said that they only work if both parties use them. I said that I kindly disagree. It takes only one person in the conversation using the skills to have a successful Crucial Conversation. I’m having trouble expressing this better. How do I show that this is true?

My role involves working with all departments in the organization. I send important emails to executive teams and usually do not get replies. As an internal consultant, I need to get information from the C-suite. What should I do?

Dear Crucial Skills, We have two young new surgeons on our team. One of them is quite rude during morning rounds. He questions and challenges my treatments and diagnoses in a very rude manner. His negative attitude has leached onto the other surgeon. Last week, they both attacked me verbally in front of students, interns, …

I recently read Joseph Grenny’s HBR article about being resilient in the face of harsh criticism. His insight was this: look for the grain of truth in feedback and you’ll increase your resiliency. Well, what if there isn’t a “grain of truth?” What if it isn’t feedback, but bullying? Bullies are adept at finding real or perceived weakness in others and exploiting it. In this case, it is not the “weakness” that is the problem, and searching for a “grain of truth” would empower the bully. What is the best way to deal with this?

For the past several months I’ve been working on a project in collaboration with a director from another department. A chief of staff has expressed concern about why it’s taking so long and has inserted herself into the process. She’s trying to help, but her way of managing the situation is to communicate with me and the director separately via email. Once I realized this, I responded to her and copied the director so we’d all be on the same page. In her NEXT email, the chief of staff indicated she had again communicated with us separately. I’m flummoxed about how to address this. How do I let the chief of staff know that splitting communications results in lack of shared understanding, a sense of powerlessness, and decreased collaboration and unity, even though it may be efficient for her to complete tasks?

I am a very direct individual. I struggle to work with anyone who is not direct, who is conflict-avoidant, and who does not speak up to ensure we work together effectively. Trying to make it safe for people like this feels like coddling and a waste of time. I think it’s good to learn skills to speak up, but I don’t see the benefit in placating to people who are insecure or introverted or both. Am I missing something?

My 80-year-old dad is experiencing cognitive decline, has had eye surgery on both eyes, and is deaf. One of my siblings says that my dad is a “terrifying” driver. But no one in the family is doing anything about it, probably because they’re all busy raising families. How can I talk to them about my dad’s driving? And how can we talk to our dad, who will not take lightly his car keys being taken by his children?